What not to tell a women going through IVF

After a year of trying my husband and I decided that we needed to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist. That was a choice that we made together because we really wanted to have a baby and unfortunately that natural way was not working. First thing that was said to me when I decided to be more open about it was oh you don’t need to see anyone you are young. I didn’t realize age mattered. Every women body is different and age doesn’t always play a factor when your trying to make a baby. Yes I might be 26 but I was not pregnant after a year of trying so that is definitely is a red flag.

Please if a women decides to open up about her journey especially this kind of journey young or older don’t dismiss her by saying you are young, or maybe it’s not happening because your just not ready or it’s not your time. Yes I have been told this by numerous people who found out what I was going through this. Let me tell you everyone has a different experience when trying to start a family with their significant other, its not always easy or the same journey its different. Believe it or not when you say that to a women that breaks her down even more. She is already on an emotional roller coaster between doctor visits, to constant ultrasounds and blood drawn that the last thing she needs to hear is negative feed back.

I have had people ask me a ton of question’s and I don’t mind answering them because I think it’s important to educate people so they can learn and also learn to not what to say. When ever I open up about it I get the sad looks, the expressions change and I honestly don’t need that, what I need is for people to educate themselves and be more careful of what they say. You never know if the women standing next to you is going through this process. Trust me when I say I don’t want to be here but I am, I was meant to go through this with my husband and honestly it has made us stronger and brought us closer together. So please be more mindful of the questions you may ask or what you plan on saying to someone that currently is on this path.

WHAT NOT TO SAY:

  1. You are young you have time
  2. I don’t know how you do this I honestly wouldn’t be able to put myself through this (well if you conceived that natural way then you wouldn’t know what it feels like)
  3. Maybe it’s not your time
  4. Why would the doctor put you through this aren’t you only 26? Why wouldn’t they wait it out if your so young
  5. Ill never pay for that process its too expensive

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